A Change In Perspective

My name is Nichole, I write sometimes but as you'll see, not all of it makes sense. Actually, most don't. A free and quiet bird. I revere silence because the world's loud enough as it is.
 Instagram: xi.nic

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It’s so cold this morning I don’t even wanna get up.


Perhaps what Jules Renard say is true and “there are places and moments in which one is so completely alone that one sees the world entire.” For me, this magical moment only ensues on rainy days and early mornings — the time when the sun should be rising if it was not obscured by dark and haunting clouds — that I find myself to be alone and completely contented.

To have silence engulf me like a familiar blanket as though I’m the only person on earth is rather intimate and special. The only sounds to be heard are the slow trickling of rain outside my window and the low, steady voice of Casely playing out the tiny speakers of my phone. Somehow, the pitter patter of rain pelting upon the gravel earth adds to the slow melody of my favorite song makes the moment even more intimate and surreal. It is a remix only I know of and belongs to be alone and I am rather possessive.

On mornings like these I often like to sit alone in the dining room where I have a clear view of pelting rain kissing pavements. It is here that I can stare outside the glass door for hours, with a cup of steaming hot tea in the cold palms of my hands, and random thoughts would invade me. Everything and everyone — from the wild rabbits outside my house to the people residing in it — seems to be fast asleep, even though it’s already 7 AM and factory workers have already started their morning shifts. Somehow this moment seems more personal, as though it only belongs to me, ephemeral, even though in the back of my mind I know it is anything but. For some odd reason, that some how makes me extremely relaxed and content; simply because this moment to me is so precious.

To only exist for myself, solely for myself without consequence, I somehow find that very emotional considering how many of us live to please others beside ourselves.

❝Love isn’t soft, like those poets say. Love has teeth which bite and the wounds never close.❞
— The Body (Stephen King)
Tagged: (last night)

Drifting off before dinner. 

Drifting off before dinner. 

and for no reason at all, some nights I get sad and I listen to sad songs that makes me feel even sadder than before.

❝and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love❞
— Warsan Shire, For Women Who Are Difficult To Love  (via 1112pm)

Out of all the people in the world,
You shine the brightest and laugh the loudest —
But on the inside, you’re also the saddest.
And I wish I could fill you up with
Some parts of my being and make
You the happiest person in this world

There are days 
when memories of you
still put needles 
through broken pieces
of my heart. 
And I tell myself 
I hate you,
for having so much 
power over me 
even though you’re gone. 
But I don’t. I don’t hate you. 
So I tell myself to forget. 
And I do. Days later. 
Only to wake up one morning
and remember again.

  1. Learn to put on your bracelets and zip up your dresses by yourself. There will be times when you will be alone.
  2. Get on a long plane ride. Look out the window. Understand the immensity of our world. Understand your insignificance. Understand your absolute importance.
  3. Press the send button. If you don’t say it now, you never will.
  4. Do not sneer at happiness or roll your eyes at sadness. Be aware that apathy is not healthy.
  5. You are more than the amount of people who want to have sex with you.
  6. That pit in your stomach when he doesn’t text you back, it shouldn’t be there. No one should be able to control you like that.
  7. Shopping is cathartic. Buy the shoes and deal with one-ply toilet paper for a while.
  8. It will get better, but it will never be perfect. Learn to live through the small moments of happiness. When they disappear, remember they will resurface.
  9. I promise that cookie will not change anything (except that it will make you smile).
  10. Please, please, take care of yourself. You are everything to somebody. You are everything to your self. That alone is enough.
things to remember, n.m. 

his heart’s at the right place
but before he can think about making any progress,
he needs to make sure his mind stays above his neck.